Dear Young Me...

Dear Young Me,

First things first, I want you to know that I love you. And I want you to know that you are loved. I want you to know that there will be times you don't feel like you are loved. There will be times you don't feel that love from yourself. But I want you to know that its not true. I want you to know that someone is praying for you even when you aren't able to pray for yourself.

Young Me, there will be times you look back and you will wonder how you made it through. And I want you to know that those times you felt alone and your journal was all you had to fall back on for comfort, there was somebody praying that you would make it. Somebody prayed that God would keep you covered. And they prayed that He would keep your mind. And God will.

Young Me, the road is going to get tough. There is no way around it. And you are going to question God. Some days you will even doubt Him. And I don't want you to allow anyone to make you ashamed of that. Because they won't get to feel the pain you feel, and they won't understand all the tears you cry, and they won't always hear the prayers you pray.

But I want you to keep pushing. I want you to find the courage from somewhere to keep going. And I want you to know that in those times that you doubt God, He will never doubt you. In fact, God is going to give you a strength that you would have never in your life imagine you could have. And that will be one of your gifts. And that will be His way of letting you know He hasn't forgotten about you.

Young Me, I don't want you to give up because you have too much to lose. There will be people depending on you, but most importantly your future is depending on you. The young you has got to make it through so you can look back and see how far you have come.

Young Me, I want you to realize that God's plan for your life is so much bigger than any of the circumstances you will ever face. I know at times it won't seem like there's more to life, but believe me it is. The way will seem dark and you will feel like you are losing the essence of who you really are. In those times, young me, I want you to dream. That's all. I want you to dream of a brighter future. I want you to see yourself in a perfect place. I want you to imagine what its like to have peace. I want you to use the gift of strength that God will give you. And I want you to know that trouble is simply a season...and seasons change.

Young Me, I want you to know that it is okay to cry. They will tell you that you're too sensitive and they will mistake your pain for simply being "too emotional". But young me, they don't know your story. So Young Me, I want you to speak out. Tell them how you feel. Let them know your truth.

Young Me, those doctors will tell you that you suffer from chronic depression. And they will tell you a pill is the only answer to deal with it. But Young Me, don't believe that. Young Me, understand that it is just another work of the enemy. Because he sees your potential and he knows how great you will be and he doesn't like it. So he will use that spirit to try and torment your mind. But I want you to trust God and only God for your deliverance. It will be difficult to overcome, but its not impossible. And you won't need a pill to help you overcome it.

And Young Me, tell your family and your friends. Tell them about your diagnosis. Because they will do things to you that you feel isn't right and they won't understand why you shut down on them and it will be because you didn't tell them what you knew.

Young me, let someone in. You don't have to handle it all alone. You don't have to go through it on your own. Young me, you are strong, but some burdens are too heavy to carry on your own. So talk to somebody about it. God will send you the right resources to help you get through it.

In the meantime, young me, PRAY!!! You will find that prayer will become your greatest weapon. And it will get you through so many tough times in your life. And through prayer, God is gonna blow your mind. Once you start praying, things will happen and it will almost scare you to see how quick prayer works.

Young me, don't grow up too fast. Because you will get older and you will realize the worst part of your childhood was that you were never able to experience being a child.

Young Me, you're gonna screw up. And that's okay too. Because you'll have some pretty darn good stories to tell your kids. And you will find that you have fallen in love with the progress you make from your imperfections. And don't be ashamed of your past. "They" will try to remind you and they will talk about it to others, but as you get older you will be so 100% secure, comfortable, and in love with the woman God has called you to be, that nothing from your past will move you. Young Me, I want you to see God as your true alpha and omega and there is nothing and no one that can stop your destiny with Him.

Young Me, you will have your share of broken hearts and days of devastations, but I want you to forever protect love and don't be unfair to yourself about love. Because love will come. And it will feel right because it will be right...and it will feel good...real good...because it will be good. And you will not have to compromise who you are to get it. Because the way God made Eve out of the rib of Adam, God has a man molded just for you and you will 'fit' his side.

And Young Me, people...people will hurt your feelings. People that are extremely close to you. And you won't understand. And you will question what you did to make them hurt you. But it isn't you. They simply lacked the consistency to handle you with compassion. And I want you to look back and realize God revealed things to you before it was too late. And for that, I want you to forever be humbled by His mercy and compassion on your life. You will look back and realize He had your back all along.

Young Me, your children and your siblings will become your most reliable friends. Always be there when they need you. Remember your childhood and commit to making sure theirs is different. Hear them even when their silent. Make sure they know you have their back. Lead them the best you can. Give them to Jesus and only Him. Don't allow others to tell you that your way isn't the right way. Do it your way.

Dear Young Me, take care of your grandparents. Cherish them. Call them often. Remind them that you love them. Don't ignore their speeches because later down the line you will see they were right. Their not just babbling and fussing. What they are saying is true.

Young Me, forgive your father. Because he loves you and you love him. But you won't stay daddy's girl forever. And he won't always be with you. And you will feel bad for not understanding that he never intended to hurt you; he just had demons that he couldn't seem to overcome. Realize that he did the best that he could. He did what he knew how. Young Me, you won't understand while he's with you, but when he's gone you will realize that when he said you were his number one - he meant every word. Young Me, you were the apple of his eye and even when he's gone he will prove to you in your dreams that he's still doing the very best he can.

Young Me, forgive your mother. Understand that the same way your daddy did what he knew, is the same way your mother will do what she knows. Young me, it isn't your fault and it isn't her fault that she wasn't taught how to be the things that you want her to be. Young me, love her through her struggle because even when she has a hard time of showing it; you are her world and she loves you. Young me, we all have our issues. Don't judge her. Love her.

And commit to using that as an example to being the best mother you could ever be.

Young Me, don't give more of yourself than you are capable of giving. And please don't take on more than you can handle. And understand and accept that everyone won't have the heart you have. And be okay with that. Love anyway. Forgive quickly.

Young Me, don't let these people drive you crazy! Straight up.

Young Me, it will not break you. It will get better. Suicide is not the answer. All your experiences, good and bad, will add up one day and it will all make so much sense to you.

....Now, OLDER me, you will write yourself a "dear, young me" letter and you will realize you still don't know everything that there is to life. And that will be okay. Because you will just write another "dear, young me" letter in the next ten to fifteen years. LOL.

Dear, Young Me - Blessings, Strength, Faith, & Grace will forever carry you through! Stay strong & stay in the race!

- Older Me!