Victory

Victory. I've got it.

I literally can feel it surrounding me and its so crazy to me because just a short time ago (some weeks ago actually) I was basically headed back down the wrong path. Choosing people over God, choosing my fleshly wants over what God was visibly showing me that I need. Making it about the wrong things of what felt good in the moment instead of making it about the future, the plans, and the path God created for my destiny. Yet, despite all of that, here I am; five days before the new year feeling more revived than I think I have felt all year long. Feeling empowered, ready to grab onto the ropes of divine order and excellence and pull them into whichever direction God leads me. Last night I verbally gave God my complete "yes" ...AGAIN. And although for a quick minute I asked myself, "what in the world did I just get myself into?", I meant it.

I know it won't always be smooth sailing (just as it hasn't in the past), but my faith is being planted differently. Everything feels so different and I am so grateful. For all God has done. For never giving up on me no matter how frustrating it has been to continuously extend His grace just to rescue me out of things that He had already warned me about before getting into. I have no clue how He does that over and over again, but I am so grateful that He does. He doesn't get tired of doing it for me. By far, one of the coolest things about building a relationship with God is the accessibility. I can literally come to Him in any form (i.e: happy, hurting, discouraged, a complete mess) and He just listens. He doesn't selectively choose which problems He wants to attend to; everything that concerns me, concerns Him. Petty issues of the heart with men and friends (or lack thereof) that He's already told me to avoid, self-imposed stress when I forget His promises, traps I was continuously warned about and I naively jumped right into - He bears it all.....for me. Its so real. God is so real.

I feel my victory and the "wow" thing for me is that nothing has visibly changed around me (not that I can see right now); which leads me to believe that victory really is simply found in perspective. It's the battle you already know you won before the battle even gets to you. It's the faith you have in God for circumstances that you have no control over. It's the faith you have in God for circumstances that you DO have control over, but you allow Him to handle it knowing His way is better. It's the prayers that you trust God is already aware of without you even verbally speaking it to Him. It's the "yes" you still have even if those prayers don't get answered. My victory is in my obedience to God's demand, purpose, and path for my life.

Victory has been nothing like the way I expected it to be. Instead, it has been everything I've needed it to be. There is a feeling of liberty that comes with it that you can't put into words. It almost feels like you're floating off the ground. You're not constantly questioning whether God is pleased with you or not because you already know He is. Victory is mine. It belongs to me because it belongs to Him. So here's to a new year of walking into victory that has been mine to grab from day one. Or, perhaps it was mine as soon as I was ready for it.

Because that's the thing - it's there for us to grab, but if we are not mentally prepared to accept that it can be in our possession despite our circumstances, then we can't go after it. But the moment your perspective changes, so does everything else. So yeah victory...it's found in perspective and it belongs to me and I've decided to carry it, allowing it to surround me, even in battles that I won't always win. It is still mine.

Victory. I've got it.