Does Goodbye Help You ANY: Protecting Your Peace

If you know me then you know one of my most adored and absolute favorite humans is my maternal grandfather - Mr. James "Doodlebug" Smith.

He is truly my soldier and my rock. I'm granddaddy's girl all the way!

My grandfather is a man of many sayings. You never know what life changing revelation (or so he thinks) will come out of his mouth during one of his many sober or drunken speeches. So hilarious. He is truly a character indeed. It wasn't until recently that I actually took one of his "quotes" serious. He has a favorite one to say when someone is absolutely working his last nerve. "Does goodbye help you any?" .... If only I could somehow let you all hear it the way he actually says it. The moment you hear, "does goodbye help you any" from this man then you know it's time to give him his space.

Recently, I thought about it from a more profound standpoint. Its amazing to me the things we can learn from life that seem so simple yet can be so life changing. It truly is all about perspective.

I was watching a Maya Angelou video on YouTube the other day and she said that "everyone should have that space on the inside of them that no one else is allowed to invade. That should be your space that you absolutely will not allow anyone to disrupt. No one, but God, peace, and love should be allowed to be in that space."

As I thought about what Dr. Angelou said, it brought me back to my grandfather's favorite line, "Does goodbye help you any?"

To my grandfather, it simply means once you start working my nerves, you've gotta go! It's like he's saying once you start invading my space of peace then goodbye is your next best choice. I totally get it. Why do we allow people or circumstances to invade the one thing that God has allowed us to have control over in our lives? Our peace.

It may not happen often, or maybe it does, but we allow too many things to knock us off our center when the truth is we have control of that. We allow people to take two of the most precious things we have on this earth - peace of mind and the sweet gift of time. We allow people and situations to come in and steal our peace like they are practiced burglars.

Lately, I have been trying to put the practical lesson of my grandfather's noble quote to test. I want goodbye to help me a lot! Because I realize how draining it is for me to allow someone to come in and disrupt my safe haven. It is mentally too much to bare. Before you know it, that thing - whatever it is that's causing you worry and stress - becomes the only thing you think about, making it impossible to do anything else. Your mind becomes polluted, and you get to the point where you can't even function the way that you should. You lose any joy in the present moment and your entire personality changes.

That's not okay and it's not right. I have learned that it will always be necessary for me to take time and put my thoughts to a drastic halt and make a conscious effort to detox the energy I've allowed someone else to taint. I know that I can no longer allow anyone else to bring me energy that I cannot mentally or emotionally afford to handle. Aside from my ardent personality and low tolerance for foolishness, I like to think that I'm a pretty good person. I don't always go about things the right way and certainly I don't always give the right looks or words, but my heart is always openly pure and my intentions are always good and that's enough for me to protect what God has allowed me to control in my life: my peace.

I asked my best friend months ago, "why would you allow someone to disrupt the very thing that keeps you sane?" So today, I ask you the same. Why allow someone or something to disrupt the very thing that keeps us in our right mind? Sometimes, the only way of protecting our peace is to simply know when to say goodbye to whatever it is that disrupting it.

We must recognize all the things about our lives that we CAN control and then guard our peace. The world will continue to do what it's supposed to do: turn and spiral, but protect your peace. People will come and go, but maintain your peace. Circumstance will quietly (sometimes abruptly) sneak in like a speck of dust threatening to create havoc, but seek God's peace. Try your hardest to stay in your divine peace of mind and keep your positive energy flowing no matter what or who wants to energetically infect what you've got going on. When the negative feelings someone brings begins to become repetitive, it's time to say goodbye. Don't let them manipulate you out of your good mood, focus, or positive space. Some people get true satisfaction from knocking you off your center and will try to intentionally do so. I truly believe that if you keep that peaceful and positive mindset, life will eventually eliminate everything that threatens that for you. We design ourselves. We've been given that power. How do you want to feel? The moment you say goodbye to all of the negative energies that come in to manipulate your safe haven of peace, you restore your power.

So, when you feel that person or circumstance invading that little space that only God, peace, and love should be in; pose this question to yourself, "Does goodbye help you any?"

Here's to finding the good in goodbye and protecting our peace.